The Problem I Have With Men

And Why You Should Have a Problem Too.

Just Ghost Bunny


Photo by Sam Burriss on Unsplash

The issues that men face are often overshadowed by the plights of women, and it’s mostly the fault of society. When bringing up the sexual violence and abuse towards men at the hands of a partner, typically a female partner, the advocate is shut down and dismissed under the guise of “whataboutism.” It’s almost as if society is not ready to talk about the male victims of abuse or acknowledge that even women can be abusers. A note to remember is that abuse does not discriminate based on sex or gender roles.

For those who never heard of whataboutism before the Oxford dictionary defines whataboutism as “the technique or practice of responding to an accusation or difficult question by making a counteraccusation or raising a different issue.” It’s primarily used to discredit the current problem and to bring attention to a new one. I will provide an example:

I’ve often called out people who brought up male victims of abuse when on the topic of violence against women. The last few day’s I’ve had a lot to think about and reflect on what was actually happening. There aren’t enough people talking about it, so male victims, or their allies, are forced to infiltrate women’s topics to try to create a conversation and to hopefully gain a portion of the podium to speak out against their abuser and to start healing from the trauma.

Dear men who have been abused,

I see you, and I am sorry.

There is no excuse for abuse, man or woman. Each person is deserving of love and respect. But as there are so many movements and organizations aimed at the betterment and well-being of women, I would like to take the time to talk about men. They are victims too and they need our attention and our support.


“1 in 10 men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner,” — National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.



Just Ghost Bunny

Mental health advocate, history nerd, egalitarian, humanist